How to Start a Conversation With a Girl

How to know how he feels about you

Some relationships are like a roller bearing moving on a frictionless surface. And one thing about this kind of a surface is that it keeps the roller bearing moving without coming to a stop. I used this illustration to describe some ladies who don't pause to think about how their partner feels about them.

A lady asked a question and the question goes like this:

"I'm so confused! I'm seeing this guy and he says he likes me and says I'm beautiful and fun and amazing, but he doesn't put any effort into the relationship (either he doesn't text or call or take me out on dates, etc.). What does it all mean?!"

Moreover, a lady was telling me the kind of man she wants and the description goes like this:

“I wish all men could handle us the way we could appreciate, he calls when I want even if he is at work, he never ignores, he keeps his promises, he pampers me with good words, calls me pretty names always, he gives me attention and his time as I want, every day is a holiday to me, when we argue he cools me down, he admits when he is wrong.”

Someone may say the lady that gave the description of the kind of man she wants looks like someone who is given to too much love movie. Hey man, she was just expressing her mind and it isn’t a crime to desire such a man. But I know it isn’t expensive for you to give all that a woman wants if you truly love her.

I put the question and the description side by side and I deduced that women love attention and someone who will call them often. And I know that a man will give his attention to a lady he loves and values.

As a lady, going into a relationship without caring to know how your man feels about you is dangerous. It isn’t about the sweet words he uses to knock you out of your feet, rather his actions which speak volume. Men communicate much more through actions than words. Men don't tend to weigh their words very carefully. He may say something and mean it at the moment, but he doesn't necessarily mean it.

The way to know how he really feels is how he treats you after the amazing date. Does he call you regularly? Does he schedule more dates? Does he do things to show you he cares? That's how you're going to know where he really stands.  Some ladies like defending their man by saying “his job is demanding, he doesn’t have much time to call or text, he doesn’t know how to care” Any man that gives such excuses as a reason for not giving you the required attention doesn’t feel good about you. But you may defend these bad behaviors to console yourself.

Like I do say “where your treasure is there your mind will be” A man that values you and loves you will want to give you his attention because you are always on his mind.

I am not saying he should be the only one initiating the conversation but it must be mutual. When it becomes one-sided, it means he doesn’t feel good or at home with you.

Let me borrow you a hint, stop calling or texting and see his reaction afterward. I am glad to let you know that as your calls fizzle out so also he will swiftly walk away from the relationship.

Somebody said “A guy would rather walk over a hot bed of coals than actually tell a woman he's no longer interested in her. They'd rather soften the blow by assuring you with kind words while they ever so swiftly pull away.”

Finally, when you discover that you are the one trying to make the relationship work, it is a sign that he feels cold about you and he may swiftly pull away from the relationship.