Some relationships are like a roller bearing moving on a
frictionless surface. And one thing about this kind of a surface is that it
keeps the roller bearing moving without coming to a stop. I used this
illustration to describe some ladies who don't pause to think about how their
partner feels about them.
A lady asked a question and the question goes like this:
"I'm so confused! I'm seeing this guy and he says he
likes me and says I'm beautiful and fun and amazing, but he doesn't put any
effort into the relationship (either he doesn't text or call or take me out on
dates, etc.). What does it all mean?!"
Moreover, a lady was telling me the kind of man she wants
and the description goes like this:
“I wish all men could handle us the way we could
appreciate, he calls when I want even if he is at work, he never ignores, he
keeps his promises, he pampers me with good words, calls me pretty names
always, he gives me attention and his time as I want, every day is a holiday to
me, when we argue he cools me down, he admits when he is wrong.”
Someone may say the lady that gave the description of the
kind of man she wants looks like someone who is given to too much love movie.
Hey man, she was just expressing her mind and it isn’t a crime to desire such a
man. But I know it isn’t expensive for you to give all that a woman wants if
you truly love her.
I put the question and the description side by side and I
deduced that women love attention and someone who will call them often. And I
know that a man will give his attention to a lady he loves and values.
As a lady, going into a relationship without caring to know
how your man feels about you is dangerous. It isn’t about the sweet words he
uses to knock you out of your feet, rather his actions which speak volume. Men
communicate much more through actions than words. Men don't tend to weigh their
words very carefully. He may say something and mean it at the moment, but he
doesn't necessarily mean it.
The way to know how he really feels is how he treats you
after the amazing date. Does he call you regularly? Does he schedule more
dates? Does he do things to show you he cares? That's how you're going to know
where he really stands. Some ladies like
defending their man by saying “his job is demanding, he doesn’t have much time
to call or text, he doesn’t know how to care” Any man that gives such excuses
as a reason for not giving you the required attention doesn’t feel good about
you. But you may defend these bad behaviors to console yourself.
Like I do say “where your treasure is there your mind will
be” A man that values you and loves you will want to give you his attention because
you are always on his mind.
I am not saying he should be the only one initiating the
conversation but it must be mutual. When it becomes one-sided, it means he
doesn’t feel good or at home with you.
Let me borrow you a hint, stop calling or texting and see
his reaction afterward. I am glad to let you know that as your calls fizzle out
so also he will swiftly walk away from the relationship.
Somebody said “A guy would rather walk over a hot bed of
coals than actually tell a woman he's no longer interested in her. They'd
rather soften the blow by assuring you with kind words while they ever so
swiftly pull away.”
Finally, when you discover that you are the one trying to
make the relationship work, it is a sign that he feels cold about you and he
may swiftly pull away from the relationship.
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