How to improve your communication skills in a relationship and marriage

Effective communication is an important tool for an adventitious relationship and a successful marriage. And the three major goals of communication are to inform, persuade, and build relationships.

For instance, if you want to woo a girl you must be able to communicate well before she accepts to go into a relationship with you. This means that you need to improve your communication skills to have a brighter chance with her.

Oh, this article isn’t intended to teach you on how to woo a girl but to guide you from poor communication skills in a marriage or while making advances to a girl.

A guy who makes advances to a girl but fails to have eye contact but always looking side way; such actions is a poor way to communicate which will reduce his chance of getting her captivated. When you make eye contact you are sending a signal that you are confident, mean every of your word, and indeed a man.



In addition, effective communication is very important for your marriage to be free of dispute or discord. Communication is simply sending a message through a spoken language that is understood by both the sender and receiver of the message. The intent and the context of the message must have been understood before a communication can be effective. If the intent and context of your message aren't understood as a husband or wife, there will always be a problem in your marriage. This is the reason you must improve your communication skill for your marriage to be blissful.
Let me shed more light on what I mean about intent and context. For example, the word ‘I am fine’ could mean:


‘I am feeling well’;

‘I was feeling unwell but am now feeling better’;

‘I was feeling unhappy but now feel less unhappy’;

 ‘I am not injured; there’s no need to help me’;

 ‘Actually, I feel lousy but I don’t want you to know it’



So if a man says 'I am fine' to his wife, the context and the intent of that statement must be understood by her before she replies or takes appropriate action. For instance, a man gets home and the wife tries to get him a food but the man responded by saying ‘I am okay’. ‘I am okay’ could mean ‘I am not happy’. It may be that the man wanted to settle some issues with his wife before eating the food, but if not communicated properly, his wife may interpret ‘I am okay’ as he has eaten before coming home.


Read: How to avoid broken home experience from affecting your relationship

Listed below are some of the ways you can improve your communication skills in your relationships:


1.  Effective listening

Gabriel Garcia said, "the biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand we listen to reply". And answering before listening is both stupid and rude. This implies that you must improve your listening skills (be attentive, be impartial, reflect back, summarize, avoiding distractions, paraphrase, clarifying) to understand both the context and the intent of the message.


2.  Make eye contact


3.  Facial expression

Facial expression is a way of improving nonverbal communication; this can be done by smiling etc. in order to communicate your feelings.  For a guy that wants to woo a girl, his facial expression will go a long way to express his feeling to the girl.


4.  Ask questions

This enables clarification peradventure your partner has gotten the message wrongly.


5.  Be specific

You have to be specific about what you want and not beating about the bush when you are making advances to a girl.

As a man or woman, you have to be specific when relating with your spouse so that he or she can easily get the message you are passing across.


6.  Giving and receiving feedbacks

Feedback will enable you to know whether the message is well conveyed and understood.