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Saving your marriage should be important to you than seeing it going down the drain. And it also requires that you improve it once you have saved your marriage from the ditch. No matter how stable your relationship is there will be a time you will have to resolve some issues that may threaten the peace of your marriage.
You can’t save your marriage without being intentional about it and committed to getting it back on track. There are cases I have seen where one of the couples wasn’t interested in getting the marriage back on track but prefers each person goes his or her way. I believe the reason you are reading this article is that you want a change in the present status of your marriage, or you are probably acquiring knowledge on what to do if faced with marital tensions.
One of the major causes of tension in marriages is the inability to resolve conflict and failure to acknowledge each other’s differences. And this is as a result of poor communication. Moreover, conflict resolution is the ability to air and resolve each other’s differences and it is a way to become more loving and truly experience the fruit of marriage.
Read : The 8 major reasons marriages breakdown in the society
Saving your marriage requires you to take the following steps
1. Give room for your partner to air his or her differences (healthy communication)
One of the healthiest things you can do to save your marriage is to give room for your spouse to air his complaints, anger, and grievances –it is a way of diagnosing the health of your marriage. Once the health condition of your marriage is known prescription can now follow. This will enable you to know where each other are having issues and look for a way to resolve it. Good communication is a key to help save your marriage from breaking down.
For you to have an effective communication you must:
Be a listener: Active listening involves paying close attention to what your partner is saying, asking relevant questions for better understanding. This will help you to respond appropriately to any issue.
Ability to read and understand nonverbal communication: You must be able to read your partner’s body language, eye contact, hand gestures, and tone. All these are conveyed in the message he or she is trying to convey.
Empathy: You may disagree with your partner on some issues, but you have to respect his or her feelings.
Picking the right medium: The right medium will enhance a good communication.
2. Make sure you have much more positive moments together than negative moments
Positive moments are moments you
Listen attentively to him or her
Respect his or her feelings
Share your joy with him
Tender gesture towards him or her
Moments you show you care
Moments you express your love in deeds and kinds
Negative moments are moments of criticism, abuse and being defensive. Criticism and abusive words can’t be of help to save your marriage rather it will add more injury if it occurs frequently. But having more of the positive moments will save your marriage.
Keys to improving your marriage
i. The major key to improving your marriage is to consistently practice the above-mentioned ways that can save your marriage. Consistency gets you to a level where those practices become part of you.
ii. Try not to be defensive – avoid offensive and abusive words. Be direct and don’t mind-read. Since you aren’t a magician don’t try to read your partner’s thought, give him or her chance to express his or her thought.