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There is an excitement that comes with being in a relationship with ones' first love. And I believe you will agree with me that first love intoxicates like alcohol. Moreover, every sense of reasoning is done away with and one typically acts on impulse.
I can still remember the euphoric feeling I had with my first love. Sometimes I would just smile when her thought crosses my mind, lol, it was as if the whole world was giving to me. I can’t actually say where the feeling came from but I know I was lost in it. This feeling is normal because “first things” always attract strong emotional feeling. For instance, the first day you bought a car or packed into your first house will be different from every other day. There will be a sense of accomplishment in you, so also is with first love. Although, going into a relationship should be seen as a call to responsibility rather than a sense of accomplishment.
However, most relationships with ones’ first love do not always end well because it is always a one-sided affair. From my little survey, the percentage of people that eventually got married to their first love is low. The reason will be discussed later. There are negative effects of too much excitement because doing those periods there is a tendency to overdo things. For instance, irrelevant calls that may be nauseating to your partner, getting too much around him or her, being unnecessarily jealous, etc. And all these are not healthy for a good a relationship. One of the results is that you will probably make life difficult for your partner. It isn’t as if you are intentional about it but your attitude and inexperience will bore him or her.
Hence, 5 reasons why people don’t end up getting married to their first love are:
1. Emotional involvement
When you are too emotionally involved in a relationship there is high tendency you bore your partner. This is one of the reasons people overdo things in a relationship as it has been discussed above. You are always investing into the relationship illogically without getting a commensurate response from your partner. Although, it isn’t as if your partner doesn’t want to respond but his or her view about you is that you aren’t mature enough for him or her to take the relationship further.
There is a connection between Immaturity and emotional involvement. A first love relationship is characterized with immaturity and there is tendency you crash the relationship unknowingly and immaturely.
3. Being too careful
This idea of I don’t want to offend my partner but knowing fully well that his or her behavior doesn’t go down with you kills a relationship. For a healthy relationship, there must be a correction, reprove, and taking your ground on critical issues. But most of the first love relationships always lack these vital ingredients. The fear of not losing your partner all in the name of first love kills a relationship faster.
4. Unequal feelings
Anyone that has once been in this shoe will agree with me that the feeling is always one-sided. The partner that is first falling in love is always at a disadvantage because his or her partner will always take him or her for granted. Your partner knows from your reaction that you are inexperienced, so he or she will take advantage of that. However, if you and your partner are both new then it will be another ball game but that doesn’t mean your inexperience won’t crash the relationship.
5. Lack of boundaries
6. Falling in love with the wrong person
A good percentage of a first love relationship is with a wrong partner because the love is always based only on emotional feelings. Most people will even allow their emotions dictate and avoid any negative vibe they might have picked up about their partner.
A relationship grows and does better when you and your partner are matured even if he or she is your first love and avoid getting too emotionally involved.
This article isn’t an attempt to say you can’t marry your first love but it just try to sensitize you what you need to avoid when you are in your first relationship