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Boundaries are like property limit you set for yourself so as to avoid pain and being disrespected in a relationship. It can be likened to a wall erected around a house, so as to set a property limit. This will enable you to know when someone tries to cross the line. It protects you from unnecessary pain and it is a sign that you are matured before going for a date. The easiest way to know that someone isn’t mature for a date is his or her inability to set boundaries (the line or plane indicating the limit or extent of something).
Here are 6 importance of setting up boundaries when dating
1. It helps to define you – who you are really matters when it comes to dating. It is about explaining what you can take within the confines of the limit you have set. And this can be achieved when your partner knows what you like or dislike, what you can tolerate, and what you will frown at. This will give him an idea of your personality and moral values.
2. It helps you to attract the kind of partner you want – for example, if you set a boundary of no sex until you are married, this will automatically sieve away those that may only be interested in sex and not in the relationship. In a nutshell, anyone that can’t cope with the boundaries you have set will definitely walk away.
3. It gives you freedom and choice – it helps you not to be entangled. Moreover, dating isn’t an intimate relationship, so your freedom shouldn’t be affected. However, that does not mean you shouldn’t be responsible in the relationship. But you shouldn't be under any bondage whatsoever.
4. It helps to protect you – there is a need for you to be protected, so as to avoid being vulnerable to destructive romantic fusion. You can view this as a wall around a house; one of the purposes of the wall is to prevent unwanted entrance. To prevent what you don’t bargain for or to protect each other’s heart from unnecessary harm there is a need to set up a boundary.
5. It helps your partner to know your heart – one of the ways through which you can harm yourself is to keep your limit unspoken. Such person will be abuse by his or her partner. It is better to speak up what you can tolerate and can’t tolerate than to keep mute in a relationship. Speaking your mind will make you to be respected by your partner.
6. It helps you to be loved for who you are.
There are things you do that will make people know that you have giving up your boundaries, they are:
Staying in a relationship that you should have bid good-bye
Settling for less than you know you actually desire
Investing in a relationship that you know is heading nowhere
Putting up with behavior that is disrespectful
Putting up with abusive relationship