The potential threat the career of a woman can cause to her
marriage especially if her husband isn’t as successful as she is has always
been a point of discussion. Moreover, some single men are even afraid to marry
a woman who is successful in their chosen career than them. Some believe that
the norm is husbands “should” hold higher job status relative to their wives.
When this norm is violated, and wives hold the higher status job, negative
consequences can follow: Women are more likely to be targets of husbands’
aggression, and the risk for divorce increases. Although, people who are
highly successful – and therefore have higher income potential – are more
likely to choose each other as spouses.
Question: is it a crime for a woman to succeed in her chosen
field or earn more?
Why many people may suggest that it is not a crime for a
woman to be successful, majority may think it will be a stumbling block to a
happy home. Perhaps the woman gets married; the husband will be tagged as an
opportunist or a gold digger: sometimes you hear statement like “he marries her
because of her money and not for love”
One thing I have noticed in my environment is that some
parents will even advice their daughter to appear unsuccessful before they can
get a suitor. I know of a lady who her parents advice to always go to work with
a public transport instead of her personal car. The parents gave such
suggestion because their daughter has a challenge getting the right suitor,
although, she has a very good job and she is doing very well in her chosen
field. They believe the only way out of her present relationship woes is to
appear unsuccessful. But do women need to appear unsuccessful before they can
get the right suitor?
Moreover, some marriages crashed or experience threat the
moment the woman becomes more successful than her husband. But in some cases, a
woman will have to give up her career to save her marriage.
From my own point of view, your spouse’s career growth or
high status should not be a threat to your relationship.
Firstly, what you should focus on as a man is how you can
match up with your wife’s high status. It is better when you and your spouse
are both successful. So work harder to achieve success and to have a higher income
potential.
Secondly, wives should not feel embarrassed by or resentful
of their spouses’ lower job status, and should not allow the fear that their status could be
compromised by that of their husbands. You should try to assist your husband to
achieve a higher and better status. Also always hold him in high esteem respect
and submit to him despite his low status.
In addition, don’t be intimidated by your wife’s success,
always maintain your confidence and your leadership role at home. You must
always look composed and act responsibly at home. Make every effort to meet up
with your financial obligation to your family.
Lastly, let there be mutual understanding. As a leader in
your family, you must devise a means of how the structure of your home will be
and how it will be run. And this must be to you and your wife’s benefit
Comments
Post a Comment