Posted by Relationship Expert on
- Other Apps
I have discovered that couples unknowingly transfer their life experience when growing up into their relationship or matrimonial home. Our childhood experience most time has an effect on the quality of one's marriage. For example, if you grew up will a father that does yell frequently on your mom, there is a tendency that you will do the same to your wife. If you check your life very well you will discover that you have repeated some of the ways your parents treat each other with your partner. And in the real sense, this shouldn’t be so. However, it is acceptable and healthy to only replicate the good side of your parents.
One of the unfortunate life experiences is when one of the couples grew up in a broken home. Bitterness, rejection, loneliness, and hatred are some of the things that constitute a broken home experience.
There is no way one can relate well with people if your life is full of the above attributes. Let me shed some light on them
Bitterness: Life becomes miserable when you are embittered. Your dominant thought will be how life has treated you badly. Growing up with bitterness makes you react harshly and get unnecessarily angry with people. You nag and complain about things that can easily be overlooked, transfer of aggression won’t even be far from you. It isn’t healthy to continue living in such a way, there must be a change.
Rejection: feelings of rejection makes one think he is the only one in this world. You feel nobody cares about you, not wanted and are not always secured. Having this kind of feeling will hinder you from having a serious relationship and even if you have the relationship will be loaded with problems.
Loneliness: the feeling of rejection will lead to loneliness. You will always have issues keeping friends and to tolerate people will be difficult. All you want to do is to do things your own way, advice and correction from people won’t be a welcome by you.
Hatred: This is an intense dislike or ill will. It will be difficult for you to love your partner if you are in a relationship because you will always feel disgusted with him or her.
It is very important that you work on yourself if you are brought up by a single parent that broke up with their partner. Failure to do that will be a threat to any relationship you are into. I believe you don’t want to be a concern to your spouse and your children. So you have to put your life together.
To avoid a broken home experience is to work on bitterness, rejection, feeling lonely and hatred.
Bitterness is a result of unfortunate incidence that you have experienced while growing up. For instance, maybe you were at the scene when your father beat your mom to pop before they eventually broke up. Such an experience might have left you with a bad memory and eventually affect the way you relate to men if you are a lady. The first step to getting healed is to delete the bad scenario you have experienced in your life, although, it may not be easy it can be done. Moreover, forgiving your parents for the ways you were brought up is also very important for you to get healed. When you forgive, you are indirectly opening the door for joy to flow in your heart.
Secondly, you have to start relating and tolerating people for you to conquer rejection and loneliness. There is a need for you to understand that human beings are different and you shouldn’t expect that people will treat you the same. You are unique in your own way and you must make every effort to make life meaningful and worth living for yourself. But you must make sure that you surround yourself with good people who are ready to help you through your journey to recovery.
Lastly, everything created is wonderful and beautiful; therefore, free your heart from hatred. Love everyone without reservation and you will also experience love.
Your relationship or marriage should mean a lot to yo; do everything possible to make sure your past experience doesn’t after your present life.
Recommendation: How to improve your communication skills in a relationship and marriage