How to Start a Conversation With a Girl

6 demerits of Love affairs among Nigerian students

It is a known fact that tertiary education encompasses all aspect of human lives including the social life. So it will not be generally acceptable to kick against the university or polytechnic students going into a relationship with each other. But this should be encouraged when those involved are matured enough to handle the emotional side of the relationship with their academics.

In Nigeria, tertiary institution students differ in age, status, and maturity. Moreover, some are even financially independent. In this regard, it means there are different categories of students in our tertiary institution. It will be a gross error to classify all students into a group because some men and women are already married at the same time schooling in one of the institutions.

My article is majorly meant for students that are below 20-years of age in Nigeria tertiary institutions. And the reason for choosing this category is because the majority of them are not matured enough to handle a relationship effectively. I have a first-hand experience of how emotionally imbalance one can be when he is not matured to go into a relationship when you are a student.

I happened to have a girl I was trying to go into a relationship with while on campus but also I was blinded to the fact that it is normal for a lady to have different admirers on campus. Although, I tried all my best to get the girl’s love to the detriment of my studies and I eventually lose out. I had a very fantastic GPA in my first semester 200 level – the semester I started the love adventure. But my second-semester result of that same level was woeful to the point that I cried when I saw the height of the fall. The reason was that I spent most of my time in that girl’s hostel. There was a time I missed a crucial test because I was with her. Um, what a funny period. There was a time my roommate sat me down and asked what my problem was, behold I have no answer. All I can say “I was chasing love”.
It is not a crime if one starts a relationship while on campus when handled maturely and doesn’t interfere with ones’ academic pursuit. But it becomes a cause for alarm if all your attention or focus on campus is a girl or a boy that you are dating or wants to date.

Recently, I have been hearing of stories of heartbreak among students which I know will have a negative effect on their academic performance. I know that there are certain age whereby if you are not in a relationship it will look like the whole heaven wants to fall. But heaven won’t fall if you refuse to go into a relationship during those periods. What you just need is the ability to manage your emotion by being intelligent emotionally.

Your primary assignment in school is to acquire the knowledge you need to excel in life. And having love affair shouldn’t be your goal or a reason you are in school. There is time for everything and the right time is when you are matured to handle a relationship effectively.

I will advise that what you need most is to have a network of friends while in school. It is a time to meet new friends in order to expand your network. And not only that, make sure you develop and nurture those networks for it can be a springboard to your success in life. Moreover, a potential wife or husband may even be among the friends’ circle you have created. But starting a love affair when you aren’t matured enough can have a devastating effect on you. 

The cons are:

1.  Loss of focus

2.  Risk of heartbreak

3.  Emotional imbalance

4.  Poor academic performance

5.  Waste of time and resources

6.  Unnecessary bitterness